Published January 13, 2006
I’m sitting in a blackened room
Tying knots in golden thread
The smile that I’m lying in
Is glossed with my glittered lead
And you’ve found me all but dead
For my soul’s far weathered in
Come join me in light mystery
Feel the folds of the silken day
Cry the name’s philosophy
Sing deeper in life’s decay
In this, we’ll find the things to say
The extroversive side of me
This is the room of deeper nothings
The picturesque dreams are our fate
We cast off our humanity
Weaving tales in age of late
Weaving our own golden gate
For we’re human in our vanity
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141,257 Literary Works • 674,331 Reviews
I'm not usually much of a fan of rhyming poetry but you carried this off really well. I think the rhythm was great, especially in the second stanza. The rhyming wasn' at all forced, it all flowed really well and the imagery was good. I don't get it, but I don't care. "The smile that I'm lying in"-great line. I have nothing but praise for this, well done.
Cool. Nice imagery. These lines were cool:
"Tying knots in golden thread
The smile that I’m lying in
Is glossed with my glittered lead"
"Feel the folds of the silken day"
"Weaving tales in age of late
Weaving our own golden gate"
Awesome. Good rhyming too. Sorry, I'm bad at critiques.